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The Silent Struggle: Returning to Work After Maternity Leave and the Pressure No One Talks About

When a baby is born, a mother is born too.

The transition into motherhood is one of the most profound psychological and emotional shifts a woman will ever experience. And yet, in many modern workplaces, she is expected to return to her professional self just weeks after giving birth — usually within four months, sometimes less. The message is subtle but clear: Your role as a mother is secondary to your role as an employee.

For many mothers, returning to work so soon feels jarring. Their bodies are still healing. Their hormones are still recalibrating. Their babies are still waking up multiple times at night. Emotionally, they are tethered to this tiny human who needs them for nourishment, safety, and comfort. And yet — the world keeps spinning. Emails pile up. Projects wait. Calendars fill. And HR sends a reminder: Return date: Monday, 9AM.

“You’re lucky to even get 4 months.”

It’s a phrase too many women hear — often from other women. Instead of compassion, some returning mothers face quiet judgment or subtle comments from coworkers who may not have had children, or from women who powered through early motherhood without outward struggle. The expectation is to "bounce back" — physically, mentally, professionally — as if becoming a mother is a pause, not a transformation.

But this isn’t just about readiness; it’s about being forced to perform readiness. Even if a mother isn’t ready, the professional world rarely gives her the space to say so without fear of judgment or retaliation.

The Pressure from Within

The pressure doesn't only come from bosses or corporate policies — sometimes, it comes from other women in the workplace.

Other women who say:

  • “I was back in two months — and I survived.”

  • “Don’t use the baby as an excuse.”

  • “We all did it, so should you.”

These comments can feel like betrayal. Motherhood should unite women, not divide them. Yet, in a system that values productivity over well-being, many women have had to harden themselves to survive — and in doing so, unintentionally perpetuate the same harmful norms.

It creates a cycle where vulnerability is seen as weakness, and where asking for flexibility is interpreted as entitlement.

What’s Really at Stake?

The reality is, forcing mothers back to work before they’re emotionally or physically ready can have lasting consequences:

  • Increased risk of postpartum depression or anxiety

  • Decreased job satisfaction and productivity

  • Strain on relationships, both at home and in the workplace

  • Higher rates of burnout and turnover among new mothers

The workplace should be a place of support, not silence. It should offer flexibility and understanding, not just a “return date.”

Reimagining the Return

What if we created work cultures where new mothers could say, “I’m not ready,” without fear? What if we redefined professionalism to include humanity — especially for the women who are shaping the next generation while trying to hold onto their careers?

Here’s what that could look like:

  • Gradual return-to-work policies (phased schedules or part-time return)

  • Support groups or mentorship for new mothers within the company

  • Training for leadership teams on maternal mental health and reintegration

  • A workplace culture that encourages empathy, not comparison

Because motherhood is not a weakness. It’s not a liability. It’s one of the greatest feats of resilience and transformation. And we owe it to mothers — and to ourselves — to treat it with the respect and support it deserves.

By: Marylin M. Beckley, PhD, LPC, NCC

Self-Care Planner for Parents & Caregivers

Welcome to Your Self-Care Planner

As a parent or caregiver, you give so much to others—but your well-being matters, too. This planner is designed to help you prioritize self-care, set small, achievable goals, and build habits that nurture your mind and body. Taking care of yourself allows you to show up as your best self for those you love.

1. Daily Self-Care Plan

Date: ______________

  • How am I feeling today? (Circle all that apply)

    • Energized | Tired | Overwhelmed | Grateful | Stressed | Content | Hopeful | Frustrated

  • One small way I can take care of myself today:

  • A moment of joy I experienced today:

  • One thing I am grateful for today:

  • My energy level today (1-10): _____

  • What I need most right now: (Rest, Connection, Movement, Nourishment, Alone Time, Fun, Support)

2. Weekly Self-Care Goals

  • Physical Self-Care: (e.g., movement, rest, hydration, nutrition)

    • Goal for the week: ________________

  • Emotional Self-Care: (e.g., journaling, therapy, mindfulness, expressing emotions)

    • Goal for the week: ________________

  • Social Self-Care: (e.g., connecting with loved ones, setting boundaries, asking for help)

    • Goal for the week: ________________

  • Mental Self-Care: (e.g., reading, learning, quiet time, creative activities)

    • Goal for the week: ________________

  • Spiritual Self-Care: (e.g., meditation, prayer, time in nature, gratitude practice)

    • Goal for the week: ________________

3. Self-Care Check-In (End of the Week Reflection)

  • What self-care activities helped me the most this week?

  • What challenges made self-care difficult?

  • How did taking care of myself impact my mood and energy?

  • What can I do next week to improve my self-care routine?

4. My Self-Care Toolbox

  • Quick self-care activities I can do in 5-10 minutes:

  • People who support me when I need help:

  • Positive affirmations for difficult moments:

  • Things that bring me joy and relaxation:

Final Thought:

Self-care is not selfish—it’s necessary. Even small moments of care can make a big difference in your well-being. Prioritize yourself so you can continue to give to others from a place of strength and fulfillment. 💙

By: Marylin M. Beckley, PhD, LPC, NCC

Guided Journal for Anxiety & Emotional Well-being

Welcome to Your Guided Anxiety Journal

By: Marylin M. Beckley, PhD, LPC, NCC

This guided journal is designed to help you navigate feelings of anxiety, reduce stress, and develop a deeper understanding of your emotions. Use it as a safe space to reflect, explore coping strategies, and track your progress toward emotional well-being.

1. Daily Check-In

Date: ______________

  • How am I feeling today? (Circle all that apply)

    • Calm | Anxious | Overwhelmed | Hopeful | Tired | Motivated | Frustrated | Grateful

  • What thoughts are occupying my mind?

  • What physical sensations am I experiencing? (e.g., tense muscles, rapid heartbeat, headaches)

  • One thing I am grateful for today:

2. Identifying Triggers & Patterns

  • What triggered my anxiety today? (e.g., social interactions, workload, uncertainty, lack of sleep)

  • How did I react to the anxiety? (e.g., avoidance, deep breathing, overthinking, exercise)

  • Were there any positive coping strategies I used?

  • What could I do differently next time?

3. Grounding & Coping Strategies

  • 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise (List them below)

    • 5 things I see:

    • 4 things I can touch:

    • 3 things I hear:

    • 2 things I smell:

    • 1 thing I taste:

  • Breathing Exercise: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds. Repeat 3 times.

  • Positive Affirmation for Today: (e.g., “I am safe. I am strong. This feeling will pass.”)

4. Reflect & Release

  • If my anxiety could talk, what would it say?

  • What is one thing I can do to be kind to myself today?

  • Something I accomplished today, big or small:

  • A small step I can take toward self-care tomorrow:

5. Weekly Anxiety Reflection (Use this space at the end of each week)

  • How has my anxiety changed throughout the week?

  • What coping strategies worked best for me?

  • What areas do I need to improve or focus on more?

  • How can I show myself more compassion moving forward?

Final Thought: Anxiety is not who you are—it is something you experience. With self-awareness, reflection, and consistent practice, you can learn to navigate it with resilience and strength. Be kind to yourself and take it one step at a time.

You are not alone in this journey. 💙

By: Marylin M. Beckley, PhD, LPC, NCC

Breaking the Silence: Seeking Therapy in a Culture Where It's Taboo

By: Marylin M. Beckley, PhD, LPC, NCC

In many communities, therapy is often seen as a last resort—or worse, something shameful. Maybe you’ve heard things like “just pray about it,” or “we don’t talk about our problems with strangers.” Maybe you’ve been told that needing help means you’re weak, dramatic, or “crazy.” If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.

As a therapist who has worked with clients from diverse cultural backgrounds, I see this pattern often: people suffering in silence, carrying the weight of anxiety, depression, past trauma, or life stressors—alone—because asking for help feels like a betrayal of their culture, family, or faith.

But here’s the truth: seeking therapy is not a weakness. It’s a brave and powerful act of self-care.

Why Is Therapy Still a Taboo in Some Cultures?

  • Stigma around mental illness: Mental health is still heavily stigmatized in many communities, especially when emotional struggles are equated with being “broken” or unstable.

  • Cultural values around privacy and pride: In cultures that value stoicism, family reputation, or collective identity, speaking to a therapist can feel like airing dirty laundry.

  • Lack of representation: If you’ve never seen someone who looks like you in a therapist’s chair—or as a therapist—it’s hard to imagine yourself there.

  • Mistrust in systems: Historical and generational trauma has led many marginalized communities to distrust healthcare and mental health providers, and often for good reason.

You’re Allowed to Break the Cycle

If you’re struggling, wanting help is not a betrayal of your roots—it’s a sign that you’re human. Many of us are taught to survive, not to heal. But survival is not the same as living.

Therapy doesn’t mean rejecting your culture; it means caring for yourself in a way that many of our ancestors never had the opportunity to do. You can love your family, honor your culture, and still choose therapy. It’s not either/or.

What Therapy Can Look Like for You

  • A space where you’re not judged.

  • A chance to explore your thoughts, emotions, and experiences in your own language—literally or metaphorically.

  • A place to process generational trauma, cultural expectations, identity, or the emotional toll of immigration, transitions, or life stress.

  • A tool for coping—not just surviving.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy but feel afraid, ashamed, or unsure because of cultural norms, know that you are not broken—and you are not alone.

You are worthy of healing. You are allowed to get support. And you don’t have to carry it all alone.

By: Marylin M. Beckley, PhD, LPC, NCC